a special and spooky day

there's only a few hours left of the day, but happy halloween everyone! i had a pretty good day today. dressed up as yabuki, though i changed into a shark costume later on because it got so cold!!! how did akanishi do it...

proceed with caution.

da music

eugene is back for an extra post! and their brain is sludge. but something exciting has happened! though, how good is it really...

iiiiiiyiiiiiiyiiiii

it's wednesday, and of course, that means an early wednesday post~ eugene's feeling pretty alright today. but they're super excited for tomorrow~~~! i think i really will go through with the yabuki outfit. idk. i feel as if i'll regret it, but i already regret a bunch of things, so what does it matter anymore? lolz.

blankets

hi hi! sorry i'm coming back super late again. i've started taking naps again, which has set everything back like... three hours. i know i should stop, but my bed is just too cozy!!!

crossover

i'm really sorry this is so late, i promise i have things to write about, but i've been working on college essay stuff. 

second guessing

another sunday, but quite different this time. i wasn't feeling well, so i got to stay home and rest up.

the scientification of writing

hi hi hi! eugene is back, a little late, but they're happy happy happy~ they had a great day today! they checked out a couple of ateez events going on near them, went to a cool market, got some treats~ i'm not really an atiny, but my friend is one, so i made sure to take pics and got goodies for her ^^. wasn't able to find cds, but no worries. there's always another day.  

anyway. let's get down to the subject of today's post. i started writing it earlier, so please forgive the sudden change in voice...

disappearing act

eugene is back with another daily updoodle~ and they're at the library, hehe~ they don't have a bunch of work to do, so they're sort of just chilling for now. there's also going to be a halloween splatfest later that day (and through the weekend), so they'll get to that when it comes...

chase the lightning

hello! eugene here, of course~ (i feel as if i should come up with more phrases for that sentiment...)

wisdom teeth

hey hey! eugene here. the week is almost over, thank cod!!! and i finally don't have a bunch of homework??? i just might enjoy myself! i'm going to bake oatmeal cookies later tonight, and tomorrow there's a rally at school, and i can share the cookies with my friends... i wish i could share them with you guys! the more people to eat dessert with, the sweeter it gets~

so, yeah. i don't really have much to update with... maybe i'll continue to try and figure out the horror story i wanna write, too...

is it wrong for me to be hopeful? i dunno. i'll try to make the most of it.

sotd: hammers and hearts by daphne loves derby (also i love this pic of him sooooo much... too cute! his big brown eyes, the glasses, the hair... awww~)

the tools of my craft

eugene here~ another tuesday down. i've actually been sleeping much better, forgoing my usual naps and going to bed early. it also helps me to get my work done a little earlier, too, though time for hobbies and mental rest has been a little limited as of late.

in the back of my mouth

hello! eugene here once more, updating the super sweet and cool exclusive diary.

today was actually a pretty good monday. i got a lot done, and made up the work i needed to from my field trip on friday. i also still feel pretty sociable and confident, in the way i mentioned on sunday. it still has me a little worried for how my impulsiveness will factor in for the next few days (or however long this boost will last), but i think i'll be okay... maybe all this confidence is a good thing. i'm not used to it.

expectation vs. reality

another post, so soon? yes. i have a lot to say... except now i'm going into boring stuff again and talking about college. let's get into it.

old-fashioned

hello. back from another sunday, which was actually sorta good. except now i'm very tired, and i haven't really been resting well lately. 

spin-offs

when i was in the middle of my splatoon phase(-ish? never really had much of one in the first place), i came up with a spin-off story idea for it. i came up with a whole different area, and history for it. because we were limited in what type of inklings and octolings were playable, i wondered what it would be like to have an area in which those descended from other types of cephalopods could partake in battle. i thought there was some sort of whole historical reason behind it, like the great turf war... but it seems nowadays, obviously, that it would have just been too complicated.

the updoodles

my brain is a little broken, so i don't really have anything to write about today... hm...

i have picked up yet another book, and yet another writing idea!!! the book i last read was the wilderness of girls, and this one is the vault of dreamers. i still have the wilderness of girls checked out, though; i'm not sure if i wanna let go of it yet. it was such an amazing book, written so beautifully, and everything really hit me to my core. i do have a few grievances with how endings were tied up and certain plot points in the middle, but overall it was a stellar book. i encourage everyone to read it, but do know it covers a lot of heavy topics that are outlined in a little warning at the start of the book.

after i finished that one, i picked up the vault of dreamers the other day at the library, too. to be honest, the wilderness of girls is the only book i am still really thinking about, even now, but this one's pretty good. it has a fascinating premise. if i finish it, i'll go over it with you. promise.

as for my writing idea(s)... there's honestly so many, it's sort of hard to keep track of, but i have saved little tidbits of them here and there to run my memory if need be. in the newest one, i sort of want to explore what a world might look like with both vampires and humans, but vampires were relegated to the outskirts of society. you usually see the other way around, if they're aware of each other at all. but, as we know, people like to keep themselves apart for way too many reasons. so. how can i make that work...

sotd: exit for your way by click-b (the intro???? is so good???? for no reason????)

abyss of passions

real quick, i'd like to highlight another artist i used to love: passion pit. if you're in indie or littlebigplanet spaces, you may be familiar with his songs take a walk or sleepyhead. currently, my favorite song of his is smile upon me.

brain fog

strange day today. i went on that field trip as mentioned, and since we were cleared to go for the whole day, went to the library afterward and read. not being at school while it was school hours... while i was feeling okay physically and mentally... struck me as so weird, and now time feels like sludge. i'm still not sure how to feel about it.

anyway. in the digital world, today is a special day.

rosyln

another somewhat early blog post today, my teacher gave us some free time~

today was pretty uneventful, as usual. but tomorrow, i'm going to go on a fun field trip! well, hopefully fun. to be honest, i'm just glad to have a break from the schoolwork, even though i'm gonna have to make it all up... but it's been a while since i've gone on one, so why not look forward to it?

vampirism

i don't think i've covered this particular playlist of mine yet. well. here goes.

i created that playlist about... two years ago, now? i remember it being over a summer, the first summer i started studying at libraries regularly. i wanted a playlist that reminded me of, well, vampires. and i wanted it to be easy to study with, sort of wanting to find solace in such a steady and quiet way to pass the time. i took a lot of inspiration from aameliaa's twilight comfort playlists, and a lot of the songs on it are from those vids. but, eventually, it morphed into its own playlist, as playlists often do.

my day (full of love)

back from school, and the library. my day was pretty good! we finished reading a short story in english class, so we'll be moving onto something new soon. we also did a lab in ap chem, though we weren't able to fully complete it. it was also pretty eventful, with stuff dropping and getting lost, and catching on fire....... our teacher reassured us by saying these things happen often, but it's interesting to think about, isn't it?

i still have lots of work to get through, so i guess i'll start that soon. but it is going along at a steady pace and getting done, so i'm not super down about it... i intended to use my ta period for such, but i instead did some things on spacehey. 

also. i was able to add a "report abuse" link on the sidebar, so i don't need the ugly navbar above anymore. (sorry navbar, you just don't work very well and don't blend with the theme!) though, i think i've gotten used to it being there... too bad you can't use hex codes to change its color, i really wouldn't have minded it if it really looked cohesive.

the tragedy of teen media

good afternoon! here i go again. uh...

the way that teenage life (and youth in general) is shown and perceived in much of teen media is trash, and i hate how even in its embrace of individuality and expression it calls us to conform.

synth

hello! sorry this is so late, i had a pretty uneventful day. though, i did attend a little college informational for a college i've been interested in. i also have a lot of hw to catch up with right now, and obvi everything else... really, i don't know whether i'm an egg or a potato, if you get what i mean... but which one is better to be?

oh yeah, i think i haven't mentioned the new game i got yet~ it's called potion permit, and i got it on my switch~ it's a cute little pixel game, in which you become part of a new community as a "chemist" (sort of like a doctor), and work to gain trust with the citizens. pretty good so far! i'm having lots of fun.

things are going to pick up really soon at school, since spirit week is next week, and we have some weird schedules going on. sigh. i could've sworn we didn't have so many crazy schedules in the years before this! how mean~ but i'll be okay.

sotd: hate you by 2ne1

smooth style

real quick, i've been meaning to shout out my favorite k-pop music video: hate you by 2ne1!!!

i've loved this mv for years, and obviously the song too! they meld together so well. the song itself is the perfect blend of casual and cool, perfect for dancing in your room with a slice of cake or cup of boba with friends, hehe~ i love the keyboard baseline and the little chiptune(ish?) melody that plays in the background, it adds to the cuteness! and in fact, i think the lyrics sort of fits this. they're about getting over someone who was real trash to them, gaining their confidence back and vowing to thrive and live better than they ever did. 

and of course, the mv. i love the style, how shiny it all is. the magenta sky in contrast with the black and white land below, all of the glitz despite it being a post-apocalyptic world. i especially love the outfits and how the eyes were designed. i feel as if it matches the era so well, too, with the specific color scheme it fits  and the glossy finish. i adored the story, with all of the girls on a quest to take down who destroyed the land (and make money, can't gloss over that), who i think is dara's ex-bf? honestly, i wish it was sort of explored more. like, who/what was that ex-bf, how did the girls meet, how did the world "rebuild"...

it's truly a gem. check it out!

types of comfort

hello. i wanted to write this... reference post? i may publish another one down the line referencing these, and i don't want anyone to get confused.

these are the different types of comfort i experience when listening to different songs. i wanted to write a list of songs i find comforting, but it's pretty hard when they're all comforting in different ways, and i don't want to repeat myself over and over again, so... here it is. (i'm using the list function so often nowadays! also, i guess you can see the types of notes i take in school, lolz.)

the word

one final note before i go do more work.

when i was younger, i used to make lots of tiny books with folded printer paper. most of the stories wouldn't make much sense, and the drawings usually didn't either, but even now i remember and notice...

every time i couldn't come up with a way to forward the plot or end the story, i just wrote one thing over and over again.

love.

regardless of whether or not it really had anything to do with the story or characters, that was what i wrote. that was all it was.

love.

love.

love...

is that what i felt, or what i wanted, even then?

goodnight. i feel a little better. i will write to you again tomorrow!

keys

i am not referring to that of a computer, hehe. i am referring to pianos.

i used to learn piano, for about three years until i convinced my family to stop my lessons. (then, i played bass clarinet for four, until i fulfilled the graduation and college requirement of one year... and it is not a saxophone!!!)

regardless, i always found the sound of a piano the most beautiful of all instruments, versatile yet simple in all of its forms and across genres... i still do, really. when i need a quiet escape, i look to songs of the piano. many of the piano songs i listen to tend to be soft, likely the use of pedal, and sweet or melancholy. romantic, i believe? but...

anyway. these are just the artists and songs i like. i feel as if such should be said, as others can be so... i dunno, elitist when it comes to music such as this. i could never understand it, and i hope i don't become familiar with it.

so darling close your eyes

proceed with caution.

sneaky

hello~ eugene's back from a nice saturday afternoon. they went out on a mini shopping spree, got some things to decorate their hoodie with and a cute dress for hoco... as it turns out, the day of hoco will be packed for me, but i guess i'll make it work. i always do. not like i really have a choice~ 

i also picked up a couple of gift cards for a game i've been meaning to get, so i'll update you guys on that later~ right now, i sorta wanna get ahead and restart my essays for college apps. looking over them, they don't feel quite right, so... i'm gonna try and redo them from scratch. wish me luck!

sotd: growing on me by snayk

pinch

it's a little strange how an extra post is my daily update, instead of the essay on one of my interests. but i don't mind. i think it's a little fun.

anyway. today's friday... a pretty good friday, to be honest. i got a lot done, and our class hoodies finally came in, so i was able to get mine~ i love the design so much, i'm already imagining things i could embroider onto it, adding fabric paint, patches, pins... i've never been super into alterations, but it's a special hoodie, right? at least right now. so i'm gonna try to put my all into it. 

homecoming is on the horizon, and i can't help but feel hopeful. romantic, even, but not in the interpersonal relationship way. it's amazing the sheen life takes on when one is sure they have something to look forward to. and of course, the opposite is true-- feeling hopeless when everything seems bleak. i have been in the opposite for some time, i think, so this change worries me. 

delving a little deeper into "the sheen" i mentioned before; specifically, it's sort of like a movie. the halls will be decorated, there will be rallies and dances. people will dress up with their friends, take pictures, and laugh. what a thing it is, for so many to be present and engaged as a community, in celebration of connection. maybe i'm too alone but from the distance i'm at, it seems beautiful. 

i haven't outwardly participated much in the past, due to how anxious i get about joining in social activities (though i love to help decorate), but maybe i'll try these out this year, too. there is no better opportunity than now.

mail

good morning! i'd like to highlight another artist today, another one i feel is pretty underrated. but at the same time, a fun secret to keep. i'll get into it, promise.

enter, the postal service. a group that only really released one album in 2003 (titled give up), a bunch of singles, and then a remaster of their album ten years later. you may recognize their most popular song, such great heights. they're somewhat considered to be a sister act to death cab for cutie, with the same main vocalist.

their sound mainly revolves around fuzzy, dreamy synths and distant vocals. most of their songs are subdued, somewhat sad and nostalgic or reflective, or empty. though, there are a few songs that are clearer and more dramatic, the frequency of which increased as time went on. 

as previously mentioned, i think they're underrated, but at the same time don't really mind that. at its core, the music itself seems like a strange haven. the poetic lyric style feels like one's personal diary or thoughts, and alongside the strangely muted sound, they represent thoughts that shouldn't be kept, or shared at all. so, i don't mind the secrecy too much.

personally, i love be still my heart, clark gable, nothing better, and the district sleeps alone tonight.

nothing better and clark gable were the two i loved most when i was younger. forgive me for repeating myself so much, but i also started listening to them around the same time i did owl city. i'd play the give up cd after ocean eyes, which was… an interesting choice, when i look back on it.

i loved those songs because of how much more… upbeat they sounded? which is ironic in the case of nothing better, but. once again, as i grew older, i began to love the district sleeps alone tonight and be still my heart because of how much they reminded me of nights filled with longing and reflection.

i wonder if younger me would think i'm boring.

sotd: rawnald gregory erickson the second by strf[]r

mad at boba

forgive me, but i don't think i've talked about boba on this blog yet? that is... beyond me. how could i not? maybe i just wanted to save it for another day so i didn't run out of things to talk about. 

well, here it is! my blog post about boba.

i guess i'll start by saying that there are a lot of boba places in my local vicinity. there are so many to choose from, and despite going on travels to try them for many years, i'm probably not even close to half. in fact, in middle school, i wanted to start a blog that detailed my travels to different local boba places, with reviews and whatnot. but that fell through. i just search for myself, now, and to keep the various cool cups.

anyway. uh. what exactly did i want to say about boba?

you can probably already tell i love it. i've drank it since i was about three or four, the same amount of years i've been loving owl city's music, which is sort of funny. i guess together, owl city and boba formed a big part of my personality. when i think about where to go for college, i search on yelp to find if the college town has good boba spots. and there's this one boba place, that i still attend regularly, that i used to go to so often in elementary school that the people working there memorized my order. they still remember. i wonder what things will be like when i have to go.

it's actually sort of interesting to me... to think about the evolution of boba in my vicinity. it's boomed a lot since i first tried it, and the quality is...better(? if that makes sense? fancier.) at the newer places. but that also means it's more expensive. i don't mind too much if it's good, but at the same time, i still really enjoy the older, cheaper boba (and have it more often, to be honest). it feels more comforting, somehow. is that bad?

boba stats:

• usual order (caffeinated): brown sugar milk tea
• usual order (non-caffeinated): strawberry milk, mango milk, vanilla / almond snow bubble
• usual sugar level: 50% or 30%
• usual ice level: 50%
• cold or hot: cold, though warm boba is also pretty good!
• any snacks with it?: lumpia (one specific place), mozzarella sticks, fried potstickers, egg puffs
• how long does it take you to finish a drink?: like... five hours? usually longer if it's caffeinated.

ps: the title is a reference to an old decal on the drinks at my favorite place. i remember they had four, but only know the words of two: "welcome to boba" and "mad at boba". i used to think boba was, like, a figure or world. like a being? which was sort of funny.

sweetness

helpppp, my mind is so frazzled right nowwww. i think i totally failed my auto test, the moment i looked at the questions i panicked and froze! and i can’t stop thinking about my blog, tbh, it’s sorta taking over my life like kat-tun… is it bad that i love this site so much? >n<

to be honest, i sorta forgot what i was gonna write about in this post... uh...

oh yeah! i want to talk about a fluffy fall book, which i read last year, and hopefully i can reread soon. it's called three kisses, one midnight, and it's written by a group of authors: roshani chokshi, sandhya menon, and evelyn skye. at its most simplified, it's about this trio of teens finding love during a halloween party. sickly sweet as they fall in love, and have heart-fluttering moments with their love interests, the realizations of what they feel and the other person feels the same... no two love stories are alike, so the reader gets to see all types of beginnings. i also really felt a connection to the story because of the fact that the main character (i call her that because she's the one who makes love potions for them and sort of kickstarts everything) was filipino-american. as a (half) filipino-american myself, i don't see a lot of characters like me in fiction. i was beyond thrilled. such is partly due to trends in teen fiction and media, but that's an essay for another time. 

the main reason i wanted to bring it up was because, well, it's fall obviously. i think fall is the perfect season for romance, but i'm probably biased because i already love fall completely. 

anyway. if you want an adorbs short fluffy story, check it out.

sotd: candy candy by kyary pamyu pamyu

umbrella beach

i forget whether i've mentioned this specific tidbit or not, but i've loved owl city's music since i was three or four, closely after the release of ocean eyes. my sister got the cd, and i listened to it every. day. at some point, i memorized the lyrics to every song-- or, at least, the lyrics i heard as a tiny child.

my favorite song back then was umbrella beach. i don't really remember what i loved about its sound. maybe i loved how exciting it was that i could dance and run around to it; or the way his voice would rise and fall; or maybe the notion of flying; or even that break in the middle of the song where you can hear the tide along this cute little melody, and then it's dance mode again!!! it's sweeping and huge, and hopeful, and happy. 

though, when i got older, i instead fell in love with the saltwater room. and of course, i must point out it's the ocean eyes version. (the maybe i'm dreaming version has quite a few differences, and unfortunately i never got used to it enough to like it/listen to it regularly.) in fact, i even loved the way umbrella beach would fade into it, as they were right next to each other. from the excitement and thrill, to tranquility and comfort. i fell in love with how and cute and sweet it was, as a duet. i wanted to dedicate it to a lover, and imagined listening to it while laying down together, or even singing it together. it's a little bittersweet, haha.

that sort of coincides with how i gradually built my understanding of the lyrics. originally, i thought it was just about a long-distance relationship, how they'd connect and love each other despite the distance. but then i thought about it harder. most of owl city's sweeter songs are actually sad. the girl never sings much beyond her questions, and it begins to seem as if she's more of a distant memory.

that era is now a distant memory. i don't listen to owl city as much anymore, though i still remember and long for the whimsy within his songs. but, somehow, i can't... it doesn't feel as right as it used to.

the post i promised

i said i'd talk about the chronicles of vladimir tod, so here it is before i forget. forgive me if my post is lacking in clarity, it's, uh... actually been years since i read the books.

the chronicles of vladimir tod is a book series about vlad, obvi, who's half-vampire and half-human. the series follows him navigating high school (eighth grade to twelfth grade) and his vampire abilities. there's friendship and relationship drama, but also forays into the vampire world and what it means to have this duality within him. 

the main grievance i have with this series is that it ends really...poorly. i don't know if it was just how i read it, but it felt rushed and convoluted. i wasn't really expecting tomas to be back in the first place, and it was just so out of place... i thought the ending would have, like, the ultimate showdown between his human life and the truth of him being a vampire being out, maybe a big hunt for him from hunters and those who wanted his powers. or maybe an internal struggle as his vampire side had been growing stronger in the books before. though, honestly, the whole control over vampires and humans thing was really weird to me, i thought it was too much. and snow becoming a vampire was a cop-out, i think. maybe she should've been a vampire all along, or not turn, because then it would mean nothing...

okay, now that i look back, a lot of things were shoehorned in and didn't make sense. and vlad never matured a whole bunch, despite it taking place over four to five years. 

but, i can appreciate a teen vampire story without the main point being romance. it sort of reminded me of my babysitter's a vampire, a former comfort show of mine. just weird supernatural teens doing weird teen stuff and weird supernatural stuff with occasional romance. (honestly, a big grievance i have about teen media is that it adds too much romance sometimes...  you could have a totally neat plot line and concept, but then the romance just sticks out like a sore thumb and feels awkward...)

so, it's not totally amazing, but nevertheless cohesive and enjoyable.

melodramatic

hello! here's your regularly scheduled early wednesday post. it's finally cooler. by a bunch. i can wear comfy clothes again! :sob:

anyway. i wanted to chat a bit about the different songs paramore made for the first twilight movie. i think i already mentioned them before, a while ago? but, let me add a little summary of the vibes again.

disclaimer: i do not like twilight. it's beyond unhealthy, and the author's biases and prejudices really shine through. but the aesthetic and soundtrack are really good. when it comes to teen vampire books, i actually think of the chronicles of vladimir tod more often. i should write a blog post about it.

moving on.

• decode: the main song of the end credits, dramatic. themes of uncertainty and conflict within and around a relationship, lack of trust, manipulation. secrecy.
• notable quotes: 
• how can i decide what's right, when you're clouding up my mind?
• how did we get here, when i used to know you so well?
• the truth is hiding in your eyes, and it's hanging on your tongue, just boiling in my blood.
• my thoughts you can't decode.
• if you're a man at all?
• we're gonna make such fools of ourselves.
• i think i know.
• i caught myself: sort of a hidden gem in the movie. it plays during the scene in which bella joins jessica and angela in shopping for prom dresses. i think it reflects her thoughts about edward? like an easter egg? also themes of uncertainty regarding a relationship, and choice. though, this is more subdued.
• notable quotes:
• when i caught myself, i had to stop myself.
• i'm saying something that i should have never thought.
• you're pushing and pulling me down to you, but i don't know what i want.
• you're not the one i believe in...
• don't know what i want, but i know it's not you.
• i know in my heart it's not you.
• but now i know what i want.

as previously mentioned, both of them revolve around uncertainty in romance. 

but, i think decode is about uncertainty between the two-- they're distrustful of each other, in conflict about what they know. the singer can't make a decision for themselves, constantly pestered by thoughts of and presence of their partner and knowing they're hiding something.

for i caught myself, the conflict is mainly internal. the singer doesn't know what they want in romance. they feel attracted to the one they're singing about/to, but they know the relationship isn't good for them. it could be considered to be a toxic or unhealthy relationship. though, when i used to listen to this song, i used to think it was about not feeling good enough for a romantic relationship, or being unsure whether or not it's the right choice to pursue. 

also as noted, i caught myself is much...quieter, emptier than decode. it's colder, reflective of an uncertain and confused mind. maybe even foggy, unclear as it fits with the lyrics. 

and then decode is dramatic, like an argument. active fighting within a relationship, built up resentment for keeping secrets. 

personally, i prefer i caught myself. but that's just because i relate to it more, i think. 

sotd: here we go again by paramore

known

for myself, i wanna add a list of known issues with the new layout after a few hours (and the initial excitement wore off):

- monthly tag breaks off at some point for unknown reason, but archive works fine.
- using search in navbar breaks music player?
- honestly, i don't even know how the search in navbar works.
- favicon doesn't load outside of home page?
- should i add a link to home page in the header? 
- don't know how to add older posts/newer posts button... works on simple mobile version tho.
- header blurs? tried resizing so it could fit, but it still blurred. not necessarily bad, tho.

pretty sure everything else works as intended, though. i'm still very happy and proud!!! just gotta address these things over time, i guess. i hope you can stay for the journey with me. 

sleep well.

this is the real face!

aaaaaa, i'm so pumped! blasting real face right now! do you guys see?! we've got a totally new layout, baby, we're really in business!!! (well, not business, as i don't get any money from this but you get the vibes!!!) we're gonna make it work!!!

i'm so proud, it looks so beautiful!

i honestly can't believe it. at all. it's so hard to think...  for the longest time, i wondered what it would be like to have an old-style blog of my own, relics of a time i couldn't really actively participate in. with cute little pixels, music, posts, a font, relevant photos... but i was terrified to sign up for anything on the interwebs after long enough-- not really wanting to commit or become disillusioned by my lack of skills, terrified that i'd be subject to more horror than joy. i had heard enough stories.

it started with spacehey, really. a much smaller social media site, i signed up so i wouldn't become overwhelmed by modern social media attributes, and people seemed pretty chill when i joined. i would also be able to customize my little page, the way i wanted. i made some really cool friends (i luv all of u!!!), and started learning some css. but in the back of my mind, i always sort of remembered... i really wanted a blog.

i knew/still know that spacehey has its own blog feature, but it wasn't really the same (at least to me). i wanted something completely separate.

so, we have the murasaki diaries: the name coming from akanishi jin's song, and the vampire diaries. don't really watch it (i couldn't take all of the back and forth after a while), but it sounded catchy in my head. it made me smile. i found a really nice layout on createblog, and while i loved it to bits, i noticed on other computers that it would redirect too many times and cause an error... so, i decided to make one of my own.

and now we're here! i'm so happy. even though things on the outside haven't really changed much, so much has happened here, in the interwebs. 

it's really amazing...

progress

hey hey! it's eugene... they're not feeling well again, so... u get an early blog post!

they weren't really up to much. last night they started working on their own blogger layout for this site (tester site and everything), and even made a banner for it!!! and the button, as you saw before. but, uh, apparently the header is so small it's super blurry, so they're gonna have to resize it... shouldn't be too hard in canva, i think.

even though i tend to let work pile up nowadays, it's not too hard to catch up, so i'm gonna take some of this time to work on the layout instead of school stuff~ sorry~ 

it's not really coming together the way they thought it would, but they'll make it work. trust the process~

(sorry i keep switching between first-person and third-person!!! i really like doing so for some reason.)

sotd: love options by bestie

small joys

hello~ i'm a little sleepy so i'll probs take a nap soon, but i wanted to share the little button i made for the blog for its 100th post anniversary~ (which was actually like two posts ago but who cares!!!)

ta-daaaaaa!!!!! isn't he cute? i decided to add my most used spacehey pfp, since it's special to me, and i think most ppl who know me through the interwebs can recognize me that way. 

now you can share it on ur site(s) too~ i'll probs put it where my profile is, or maybe at the end of each post as a little signature~

fatigue and pessimism

just got out of a shower, feeling refreshed.

another strange day. i think the heat is making everyone miserable-- a lot of ppl were aggressive today, it was sort of unnerving. other than that, it was average school stuff. average monday blues and booboos, with homework of course. 

though, right now, i'm actually working on some projects~ i want to see if i can code a nice little layout for this blog on my own (though obviously i love this one!), and i want a little button like those you see on older sites. i think it'll be fun to have one.

so, wish me luck~

sotd: drunk-dazed by enhypen

o r b s

last post of the day. i'm still feeling strange, but i'm sure it'll fade away. i wanted to talk about a recent reading/writing development.

i picked up a new book at the library when i went. it's pretty interesting so far, and i love the author's style. i can already see a few prominent themes, and i'm excited to see where they lead. 

it also sort of gave my mind some fuel for an idea that was inspired by kat-tun's don't u ever stop mv. i don't really have a bunch of details, but there are the orbs, souls, a fallen/lost nation, a princess... a bakery, a haven, a group of brothers... 

it sounds like fun~

melt and morph

in the wake of everything, i forgot to tell you about a strange dream i had today. 

i found myself in what my brain assumed to be the southern states of my country (for whatever reason-- i've never been there, and i never plan to go. sorry to those who live there), and i had to be very careful with what i did, said, and went. at one point, i had to go to the airport to leave, and took a taxi. or maybe the person was a friend?

either way, we were suddenly chased. and as i desperately got out of the car to enter the airport with my bags, i was met by a machine/shop in the middle of it that would change your physical features. i don't remember if i went to it out of curiosity, or necessity, but i did. it scanned me, and then everything went to black. maybe i was surrounded by something or i closed my eyes; i assumed i closed my eyes. the person manning the machine/store said it would be uncomfortable, but worth it. and then, it was like i was slowly submerged in this strange, viscous, tingly substance from the tip of my nose to my back. i was so uncomfortable that i woke up terrified.

what did any of that mean??? where did it come from??? it's been a while since i've had such an unsettling dream.

singed

hey everyone. admittedly, i'm not in the best state of mind right now. things are going on at home, so i'm going to be at the library for a little while. in fact, that's where i am right now~ i have some images in blogger media that haven't been uploaded as a post yet, so i was able to just take one from there...

i like how websites look on library computers. it's pretty old-school, nostalgic. it helps me to feel like i'm in a different world, browsing the interwebs from a space beyond the usual. not everyone had a computer back then anyway, right? it was mostly a whole house type of thing. 

how i wish this could stay. i wish i could stay. but i'm hungry, and it's much too hot outside, and i'm hurting.

i know someday things will change. this is only a snapshot.

sotd: droopy likes ricochet by c418

meanwhile

eugene's back~ the day wasn't as strange as they thought it would be, but it was a fascinating one. they went to the family storage unit with their mom and their siblings to sort through old stuff. 

it's sort of fascinating to see just how much they had and saved over the years, despite having to throw out a lot of it -- sometimes you have to let go of things. but, in comparison to me, they have so much physical media to remember their past from. most of my memories are digital. this is truly a [more] digital age.

we also found my sister's old mac she won from a contest. she wasn't able to get into it, and obviously it wouldn't be able to connect to the internet anymore, but i'm fascinated by the prospect of getting it to work. we also found some books, some cute accessories and clothes, stuffed animals... it was nice.

haven't really done anything since then-- watching more tv with my mom. my room is an inferno so i probs won't be able to stay in there comfortably until, like, 23:00. oh well. that's how it is.

wondering, if... or when...

good morning! i've barely been awake for an hour, yet it's already been a strange day...

i woke up hours before i usually do on a weekend, woke up with fireflies and tidal wave (two owl city songs i'm not super fond of) playing in my head, had walk by by teen top playing in my head (another song i'm not super fond of) and am eating breakfast. waffles. which i don't think i've had in years.

is something happening?????

sotd: the yacht club by owl city

oh dear

help i just woke up from a nap that was hours longer than it was supposed to be-- the last thing i remember from the dream i had during was that my hip hurt, which woke me up i think............ ow

probs will just go back to bed and get some better sleep. *snoooooooreeeeee honk mi mi mi*

if there’s a will, there’s a way

another day, another post, another rumination… but my day as gone mostly well. it was another okay day to get into. i was also able to meet with my counselor, thankfully, i was able to take care of something urgent.

strangely, it seems as if the workload has been easing up a bit too? i hope. the quarter should be ending soon, so it sorta makes sense... though i do have a big project to do for my government class, so there's that. it's a pretty interesting project, though, so i'm not upset about it.

i'm hoping to continue writing my story today and over the weekend as well. i'm really excited for it, there's so much i want to explore within it. honestly, i really do want to explore the potential of fusing blogs with storytelling more, i feel as if the short-lived popularity of blogs didn't allow such to be explored deeper. also copy-paste. that's another thing... i want to prevent copy-paste, but i know people rely on highlighting and copying for translation and text-to-speech. so, how should i go about that... perhaps i should try asking around on the internet? i don't think anyone irl around me will be of much help. 

sotd: kiss me slowly by parachute

rainclouds

hellos, eugene is here~… today was, thankfully, an easy day. emotionally, they're not feeling super well, and they wonder if the stress they feel will last the rest of the school year (won't go over it, talked about it in past entries way too much, i'm so sorry), but it will be okay. sounds ominous, hehe~

i don't think i really have much to say today. yeah, it's just another one of those posts. another one of those days~

i wonder how long i will continue to operate this blog. if it extends many years into the future, how many times will i upload simple posts like this? i wonder if there are enough old akanishi pictures...............

sotd: different today by the yeah yeah yeahs