camera roll

this weekend was lovely~ 

no two snowflakes are the same

there's something that pops into my mind every once and again. 

do you guys remember sm's remastering project? 

a met gaze

a short post today.

do you believe in love at first sight? 

fearful repetition

today was a good day.

we had two really big tests yesterday, and since we're officially halfway through the class, we got today off. i slept in, and the weather was much cooler today. i baked strawberry muffins, watched doctor who and rewatched steven universe, read lots of books. and i helped my mom cook dinner tonight, which was sautéed shrimp with zuchinni and rice. after that, i put together a blooket for our next chapter's vocabulary.

that aside, something has been on my mind a lot today. 

on my mind

went to japantown today~! 

red herring (pt.3)

this should be the third and final post about ufotown-- at least, the final post in regards to just exploring the site's archives. i still want to look through old soompi forum archives and try to reach out in communities to see if anyone remembers anything, but! this should be the end of this chapter.

i get into some mental health topics (parasociality and its effects) towards the end of the post, so please be cautious. i marked when they begin so you can stop reading.

there's not much else we can get from the site's main pages, but they have a very in-depth faq page and some descriptive guides for each main section. so, let's start with the... 

loot

sorry about another dry spell from me; with a heat wave over here, barely anything can go through my mind except for my miis and doctor who. and pretty boys, but. that being said, i've been poking around on pinterest, and stumbled across a few interesting prompts that i wanted to try out here! so the next few posts will be those.

first up we haaaaave: what loot would i drop if i were defeated in a video game? 

get moving

it's not a genre i talk about a lot since i don't listen to it a lot, but it always returns to me when i feel like i have to dance: funk. 

shooting stars

hihi~ it's eugene!!! (lolz, keeping the top line short because the next paragraph is massive)

you versus the sea

today's topic is the daphne loves derby song, you versus the sea. i've had it on repeat a lot these past few days for some reason.

i'll try to keep this one short, i promise, but proceed with caution. this song is emotionally heavy.

[redacted]

ok, to recap... [mostly vent] 

bells above

i've been thinking about the moon's presence in love metaphors lately. 

box

finally friday! even though it's the 13th... spooky. 

i worked on my april layout today, since i got another burst of inspiration. and then i put together a really pretty header (seen below~). what for? i'm not sure yet~ but i'm currently using it as my laptop wallpaper. it's a little tooooooo small, but i think the slight blur sorta ties it all together in a way.

in my weather class today, my prof said that isotopes of an element depend on protons and i almost bit my tongue off because NOOOOOOOOO ㅠㅠ it's electrons............. but i was too terrified to speak in a dead-silent hundred+ person seminar hall, and so i just mentally flopped around about it like a fish. mind fish.

anyway. what are your thoughts on personality types? 

greater perspective

eep, lots of socializing today... 

name the universe, i'll give it to you

thursday! pretty chill. got lots of napping in, did some work, did some creative things. i think i might be returning to quiz-making, but we'll see. 

i really like the way astronomers name things.

ghost

lately, i've also been thinking a lot about just how long i'm going to keep this blog active. not that i'm going to abandon it anytime soon, no, but looking around the interwebs for old idol stuff, you see people just disappear from their accounts all the time. sometimes they come back for a few days or months, promise to keep posting, and then they're gone again. either that, or they don't post things related to the idols you found them through anymore.

i'm not saying this is a bad thing. it just makes me think.

i wonder when that'll be me, sometimes. a lot of bloggers were people in their teens, usually in high school or college, just looking for ways to pass the time and connect with others over the things they loved. but then adulthood happens, and interests change, and things fade away in one's life. 

when i graduate, and / or settle into being an adult, what will happen to this space? what will i be like? would i change so much that i stop posting? stop coding layouts for spacehey, stop poking at the indie web? i hope i don't change so much that i stop talking to the friends i've made here. i hope we stay friends for a long time, if not forever.

whenever people talk about the web, there's always this sense of permanence to it. whatever you upload will remain forever. the information you share about yourself is there forever, infinitely exploitable. from what i've seen, though, it has less truth to it than a lot of people think. online friends-- just like offline ones-- can fade away so easily. domains expire, links deprecate. sometimes you'll search for memories and find ghost towns amongst your bookmarks.

but what can i really do about the future now? preparation is never whole. all i can do is enjoy my time here, with you. i'm happy we know each other. even if we stop talking somewhere down the line (fingers crossed we won't, though), i'll always remember you fondly.

goodnight.

ravine

eep, finally friday~ 

presence

there's this post i've been thinking about a lot. it's a little comic, and while i don't exactly remember the exact words, it held the sentiment of, "online, it's easy to diminish your achievements." 

delicious realism

i hung out with my sister-in-law again today! :) 

of either

absence, or excess? which one are you more defined by? or, are you balanced? (which i hope all of us can be someday, even if it takes a while.)

i don't recall how this question popped in my mind, but once it did i couldn't stop thinking about it. am i based off of the feelings of lack, of loss, or of too much? or am i perfectly balanced?

well, i can throw being perfectly balanced out of the window, lolz. i've always thought of myself to be defined as lack, since so much of me is made up of nostalgia and the pursuit of things that are connected to my nostalgia. what have i missed, what did i miss out on, what could i have truly never known? always trying to make up for lost knowledge, or repair the gaps.

but in a way, that's excess too, isn't it? an excess of... hollowness. an excess of obscurity, of regret and looking in the rear-view mirror. if you look in it for too often, or are solely focused on it, you can't drive. so, then, that is too much...

where is the balance? where is my balance, if they can be both? i do not know.

i guess, thinking about it for longer, there's also excesses in my behaviors. so, lack in certain perceived mental / past experiences, but excess in the physical / present world? that makes sense. but ultimately, one has to overweigh the other... hm... which one defines us more, the past or the present? or, the future? the future can define us, too, even if it doesn't exist in our current state yet.

in other news. i have a massive headache. and alongside being sick, because of this, i cannot think. like at all. i wrote this post yesterday (or saturday? can't recall), but thought i needed to add more to it, so i didn't publish it until today.

i've been looking online for a monitor, for the aforementioned hp tower. tell me why. either no one has a monitor that old, or if they are that old, that they're selling it for hundreds of dollars????!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! you're having someone pay nearly a thousand dollars. for 1gb of ram??????? make it make sense. how. why. is it scarcity? surely it's not demand. i don't. i don't get it. for some reason, i've always thought that the older a product becomes, the cheaper it should be. so, why does that end up being a parabola?

also. i just found out. kame put all of his solos, including old ones, on spotify. KIZUNA ON SPOTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!! fingers crossed the rest of kat-tun's old music can join too...

sotd: darling dolorosa