end of the week, end of the line?

hi hi~ eugene is back! and with a new weekend update. 

motif

what is your personal motif? 

scrolls

happy thanksgiving!!! if u celebrate. if not, regardless, i hope thursday is going well for you~ i am thankful for all of your guys' presence in my lives n i luv uuuuuuuu~

i feel as if this is somewhat embarrassing on my end, but. uh. did anyone else in this web space have a wattpad phase? or fanfic phase in general. 

flavor of life

today was a nice day. i got a lot done, and i'm feeling well. more connected than usual, too, if my past posts are anything to go off by. 

of either

absence, or excess? which one are you more defined by? or, are you balanced? (which i hope all of us can be someday, even if it takes a while.)

i don't recall how this question popped in my mind, but once it did i couldn't stop thinking about it. am i based off of the feelings of lack, of loss, or of too much? or am i perfectly balanced?

well, i can throw being perfectly balanced out of the window, lolz. i've always thought of myself to be defined as lack, since so much of me is made up of nostalgia and the pursuit of things that are connected to my nostalgia. what have i missed, what did i miss out on, what could i have truly never known? always trying to make up for lost knowledge, or repair the gaps.

but in a way, that's excess too, isn't it? an excess of... hollowness. an excess of obscurity, of regret and looking in the rear-view mirror. if you look in it for too often, or are solely focused on it, you can't drive. so, then, that is too much...

where is the balance? where is my balance, if they can be both? i do not know.

i guess, thinking about it for longer, there's also excesses in my behaviors. so, lack in certain perceived mental / past experiences, but excess in the physical / present world? that makes sense. but ultimately, one has to overweigh the other... hm... which one defines us more, the past or the present? or, the future? the future can define us, too, even if it doesn't exist in our current state yet.

in other news. i have a massive headache. and alongside being sick, because of this, i cannot think. like at all. i wrote this post yesterday (or saturday? can't recall), but thought i needed to add more to it, so i didn't publish it until today.

i've been looking online for a monitor, for the aforementioned hp tower. tell me why. either no one has a monitor that old, or if they are that old, that they're selling it for hundreds of dollars????!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! you're having someone pay nearly a thousand dollars. for 1gb of ram??????? make it make sense. how. why. is it scarcity? surely it's not demand. i don't. i don't get it. for some reason, i've always thought that the older a product becomes, the cheaper it should be. so, why does that end up being a parabola?

also. i just found out. kame put all of his solos, including old ones, on spotify. KIZUNA ON SPOTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!! fingers crossed the rest of kat-tun's old music can join too...

sotd: darling dolorosa

lovey-dovey eyes

pretty okay day. lots of interwebs activities~ 

my pudding self

if your brain could be made of anything except what it is right now (which is mostly fat and water in this world), what would you want it to be made of? 

crescent moon on my shoulder

okeydokes. i got a vga cable for the computer tower today, and connected it to my tv.............. 

movement between

sorry i haven't been updating much; i don't really have anything to say. things have been pretty standard. i finally finished my english essay the other night, and now my brain's all empty, so i can focus better on the work i have.

today, i picked up a vga to hdmi converter, for the old computer i've been meaning to look at. i just don't have a monitor for it... i was thinking, with the converter, i could use a television as a monitor?

i mean, it sounds a little ridiculous, but a tv basically is just a glorified monitor, that can connect to antennae... i'm pretty sure the tv i have also has usb ports, meaning i could connect a keyboard and mouse.

i just don't know if it'll actually work. and why did we stop using it in the first place? did it have a virus or something? usually you can't get viruses through display cables, but i dunno. you never know, right? and what about the password? it's been so long, i don't remember. i don't know if anyone else does. i don't remember if we had a guest account set up for it or not.

hopefully the converter isn't useless, lolz... then i just wasted my money, agh. but it's okay. maybe there'd be a need for it sometime down the line, if my interest in old computers were to continue. or i could resell it. i dunno. we'll see.

sotd: take care by copeland

it means so much

actually, briefly, snapped today. and not just snap like a chocolate might. snap, like breaking the end of a prince rupert's drop and exploding into tiny little shards everywhere. 

proceed with caution.

apex

i had a really nice day today. :) 

lost connectivity

not much has been going on. 

lighthouse in the sky

in my last post, i think i mentioned i've been listening to a lot of daphne loves derby, right? i've really liked them for a couple of years now, but i don't think i've done a total deep dive on them yet, so.

let's get started~ (essay incominggggg!!!!!!)

the page turner

today's my birthday :) i'm 19 now! 

under the sleeves

yepyep, new blog theme as of last night.

reinvent

finally friday~ 

i got to stay in today, and mostly spent time wandering around the interwebs. i think i'm gonna put together a new layout for this place, i've made a new header n everything. just have to start coding. i also want to put together some new layouts for my layout sites, but ideas have been escaping me this whole past week.

in good news, i'm making good progress on the project i was panicking about. i think i have other things working out well, too. and i think i'm gonna finally have enough money to get myself that ps vita as a bday gift to myself!!! yay~ i was planning on getting it at a local old video game store, so i hope it's still in stock... it's been a few months... 

i don't remember whether or not i've mentioned it here before, but i've been watching a lot of the twilight zone recently. an interesting show. generally i prefer shows from this century, aside from star trek, but the suspense in older shows is so much better. i think the black and white really lends itself to such, even though it was just the technology of the time.

sotd: a year on an airplane by daphne loves derby

slip into the void

it's a bit random, but if i don't record it i feel as if no real change will occur.

my sleep schedule is very strange. at least in the current context of the world. and all things considered, i need to change it. 

ode to monotony

i love robot and robotic characters. they're always my favorites, and the ones i relate to the most.

i shall explain why that is~  

the wired

boom! i think i've got my november layout pretty much down... 

flip phone

i got... the most heinous spark of inspo late last night for a new layout. not heinous in that the idea or the source of inspo is bad, but it's been a while since an idea hit me in the way it did-- like a vision, lolz. 

basically, i want to return to the cybersphere...