lost connectivity

not much has been going on. 

still chipping away at various school projects, and projects for the music magazine. i got an extension for my english essay, which i’m happy about. i had to completely redo it since i realized i got too caught up in my concepts without actually connecting it to the text. ykyk? in art, i’ve got two projects going on. i’m particularly excited about the final. in philosophy, we talked about the turing test today, which was super cool. also got to learn about the [modern] history of computers and computing, which was also really fun. i love looking at old computational hardware. 

one thing my professor really emphasized was how crazy fast computational power has progressed in recent history. bolts and gears, hydraulic tubes, punch cards. then electricity was introduced, and so much has happened in just the past century. computers that took up entire rooms or floors can now fit in the palms of our hands. isn’t that strange? 

and then, there’s the notion of math not being made up, but math being discovery. insights into the structure of the world, from the minute, to other galaxies. it’s really cool in that way. and i guess it makes sense how it’s so hard, put that way. understanding the foundations of the universe doesn’t sound like an easy thing, but over the millenia, we’ve learned so much as a worldwide species. and learned it so well, we can teach it to those who are younger. it’s become more comprehensible, as we’ve grown. 

it’s a shame the way stem fields are so divided, though. so many small-minded and hateful people, that drive others away from the beauty of our universe. or those who wish to use discoveries for harm. those who wish to use discoveries for exploitation. 

we all deserve the stars, at least.

in personal news, i haven’t been feeling okay lately. i wish i could shake it off, but it feels like it’s only getting worse. it's mostly a routine thing; every once in a while it comes back, in strong waves, but this one seems stronger than the ones i've had since a certain point.

don’t really have much of a choice other than to continue riding the wave, in my itty bitty mind boat. it’s all battered and finnicky, but it’ll reach lovely land at some point. and on that lovely land there will be a lovely home, and lovely friends, and it will be peaceful. i hope.

sweet dreams.

sotd: loneliness 1b by akira takemoto (from serial experiments lain)