hope is filthy

though there is a picture of akanishi and a song for the day, it is only out of an attempt to bring and maintain a sense of solace for myself, and any of you who may be reading this. but nothing is comfortable. and i approach this post with a level of severity i haven't before.

as i fell asleep late last night, and woke up this morning, despair carved a cave in my chest. still now, i am angry and terrified. how could i not be? i was hoping common sense would win, but no. dark days are ahead, and any day, the rights of those i love and myself will be stripped away. 

i am not being dramatic. they have made this known since the beginning, and a horrible choice has been made. i dare not call it a mistake, knowing that this is exactly what people want, and we have failed to protect ourselves despite all of our efforts.

while the despair remains, so has a fire within me, stronger as i come to terms with all the reckoning of what is to come. 

this is not the end. this cannot be the end. 

we must all live, and survive. we must ensure our loved ones survive, and even if their physical forms may not, we will keep their presence. their stories, the very fact that they lived and were. all they were. all we are. we must preserve and persevere. resist deep within. because at the end of the day, we still have ourselves. we know ourselves. we must, if no one else will, because that is the one thing they cannot take away from us.

cry and let the wells run dry. shake yourself off. put on some clean clothes, eat and drink. do not be defeated. that is what they want. 

live, and know that as long as you do, they will not have you. love, and know that as you do, they can never keep you.

sotd: girl with one eye by florence + the machine