vampirism

i don't think i've covered this particular playlist of mine yet. well. here goes.

i created that playlist about... two years ago, now? i remember it being over a summer, the first summer i started studying at libraries regularly. i wanted a playlist that reminded me of, well, vampires. and i wanted it to be easy to study with, sort of wanting to find solace in such a steady and quiet way to pass the time. i took a lot of inspiration from aameliaa's twilight comfort playlists, and a lot of the songs on it are from those vids. but, eventually, it morphed into its own playlist, as playlists often do.

you can see... in the beginning, most of the songs were of heavy mood. angst. but a lot of the later songs are acoustic, soft and dreamy. if i were to classify them, they'd mostly be pneumatic and/or aquatic comfort. part of me wants to think it strays from the original idea i had of vampirism, but i don't think i ever truly defined what such was. what did it mean to be in a vampiric mood?

i guess, as defined by my playlist, distant. cold, as if my veins truly did freeze. there's an overarching theme of uncertainty and sadness, yet wanting to be near to others. wanting to love, wanting to be loved despite it all. some of them also follow a theme of feeling...different? not in a quirky way, but in a sad way that makes you feel as if you can't connect with anyone.

in a lot of them (but not all), i can imagine being in a small cottage or cabin, deep into the woods. it's raining, or snowing, and you can't look away as everything is covered in teardrops (frozen or otherwise). wearing a thick cozy sweater and drinking a warm drink, though chills still seep in and settle in your heart. you wonder if the person across the room room, who agreed to be here with you, likes you too. you wonder if they find solace in you, like you do them. but don't kid yourself...

there are a few that are beyond this scenario, but still generally fit into the coldness, sadness, or feelings of being not human. in red, for instance still fits into the cold despite it not being very sad at all. i can't sleep in silence aligns with sadness, though not the cold. piano fire isn't a very cold or sad song, but you can't help but feel a sense of disconnect from the average human within its lyrics (can't breathe with rusted metal heart, can't see through solid marble eyes). 

but of course, that is only me. only my interpretation of such songs. it's a pretty broad playlist theme at the end of the day, really.

what do you think vampirism (or a vampiric mood) is?