gentle and fuzzy

hey hey! eugene here~ tbh i don't think i really have much to say for today. i stayed home because i wasn't feeling well, and pretty much spent the entire day sleeping and snacking, teehee~ but if anyone asks, i was totally productive!!! i missed out on some social stuff, but in terms of work, i only have one thing to make up.

the following days should be about ten degrees cooler than they are now, so i should be able to make it through. i also have something planned for the weekend, which i'm pretty excited to tell you guys about once it passes. 

unfortunately, i haven't been able to write as much as i was the past few days. starting is the hardest part, though, so once i put down a word or two, things will begin to line up. love you~

sotd: the title track by origami angel

cringe but free

tell me why... the moment i start this set of applications, primordial fear set in??? like, i was filling it out, just going along until i realized: this is the next stage. totally different. but if something goes wrong... it really made me freeze for a moment. can i pull this off?

after finishing what i could, i thought about watching some gokusen to comfort myself-- i guess it's sort of a comfort show now. and i thought about yabuki, obviously, because he's best boy and i will hear no arguments. well, maybe for take and odagiri. and tsucchi. not the biggest fan of the final guy, but i haven't finished the show yet either, so maybe that'll change. but yabuki is best!!! 

and i sort of thought, obviously, why do i like him so much? i'm usually not into people like him. could it just be because he's cute... and deeply loyal... and a little arrogant, but he's able to admit when he's wrong and apologize... i've said all of this before!!! why am i repeating myself???

maybe, just the tiniest bit, i relate to him? i do well in school and keep to myself, but right now, i feel confused about life. i don't know what to do, i don't feel good enough sometimes. in the show, we can see them grow and choose paths they want to go through with. i guess i sort of wish i was with them? not sure if we'd really get along well, but i feel like they'd be good to talk to when it comes to this. in a strange way. i know they seem to just slide it under the rug, but at the same time, it seems like they have this self-assurance. i could probably take a page from their book.

simmering

hello! it is the first day of october... usually a good month, but i'm very overwhelmed right now. 

everything's so hot, so loud, the air's so stuffy and smells weird, my stomach hurts, someone coughed on my face at school (on one of the only days i don't wear a mask), everything about school is stressing me out... i'm going to simmer in this for a while (because pushing it down will make it much worse later), and then i'll be back to normal. promise. but that's what's going on with me, in case my writing later on comes off as short. 

now that i'm on my computer, i can at least start towards things i've been itching to take care of-- that usually makes me feel better. i'm going to update my blog and bulletins on spacehey, and start some college apps. i already got a head start on some others, but this particular system didn't open their apps until today, so.

OMG ALSO, talking about spacehey made me remember. i was able to code lips by kat-tun into the test layout for spooky season last night! i was literally so thrilled. it works well, though clicking a little further from the play/pause button will take you to the site instead. but it should work most of the time, so i'm not too worried. i'm actually sorta scared to show it off. maybe i'll take a screenshot of it and share it through bulletins to get used to it? i don't know why, but changing my layout feels so intimidating at times...

sotd: do it now remember it later by sleeping with sirens